The Difference Between Men And Women When It Comes To Attraction

Let’s start this discussion with two questions posed to men and women, and then we’ll look at the general answers.

Question 1: What would hurt you more: Your boyfriend/girlfriend sleeping with someone else or your boyfriend/girlfriend falling in love with someone else?

Question 2: If you had competition going for the same guy/girl, what would you do for your next date to persuade him/her to drop the other option?

Take a moment to think about how you would answer these two questions and be honest with yourself. No bonus points awarded here for “positive light” answers. And, if possible, go ahead and ask a bunch of other people and make sure they give you honest answers too. When you’re ready, go ahead and read on.

Ok, now let’s look at how you match up with the statistics. For question 1, most women will say that their boyfriend falling in love with someone else would hurt them more.

Before I go into explaining why that is the general answer, I need you to understand that even though we are in the 21st century, we still have a caveman animalistic brain in us. That animal brain wants to behave in a way that keeps you alive so that you can successfully continue your genetic line. Basically, your genes want to live on forever and it looks for ways to make that happen.

Keeping that in mind, let’s look again at the female answer. But this time, let’s add the scenario that we are back in the wild wild hunter and gatherer times and that she is pregnant or taking care of newborns. Notice her situation. She is in no shape to protect herself from dangers such as sabretooth tigers and much less protect her children. Also, she can’t do much to collect food either. She needs the father of her children around to protect her and to provide for her. If that man, however, were to fall in love with someone else, she would lose that sense of security and that greatly hinders her chances of living and reproducing successfully. Her man could leave her completely for that other woman, and she would be left to fend for herself. See where I’m going with this? Another important point is a woman can only have so many children in her life, so each child is worth more to her and her genes than her male counterpart. A man potentially could have numerous children.

Now let’s look at the majority male answer to question 1. Most men would say that their girlfriend sleeping with someone else would hurt more. If you’re a man and you disagree, let me tweak the question a bit. What would hurt you more: your girlfriend falling in love with someone else but never slept with that man or your girlfriend sleeping with someone else? Changing your mind right? Don’t assume that just because, she falls in love with someone else that it’s worse because you’re adding the fact that she will sleep with him soon enough. By that judgment, what you’re really hating, is that she will sleep with someone else, which does happen to be the majority answer.

Now, let’s break it down to caveman time again. If a woman is pregnant, she is 100% sure that that is her child. If you’re a man, and your woman is pregnant, you do not share that 100% positivity that that is your child. This is called paternity uncertainty. There is always that chance that just maybe she slept with someone else. And if that’s true, why should you be expending and risking your life and resources to protect a child that might not even be yours. That is genetically unintelligent. Hence, men look for and value fidelity and shun promiscuity. Just say no to floozies.

Here’s another way to look at it too. Just because a man sleeps around doesn’t mean he won’t go back to his “love.” So a woman can forgive that, but she can’t forgive the man that leaves her permanently. Just because a woman falls in love with someone else, that doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll sleep with the other man. But if the woman has slept with someone else, she is no longer as trustworthy and runs the risk of having a child that is not yours.

Let’s recap question 1. Put simplistically, it comes down to women are looking for a man that is a protector and a provider that will always come back home to her. Men are looking for a woman who is monogamous. Moving on to question 2. Most women will answer with something physical. They will do things such as do their make-up, fix their hair nice, wear a skin revealing outfit, wear high heels, etc. Men will answer with resources. They’ll want to take the girl out to somewhere nice and expensive, break out the nice car, wear the rolex etc.

Let’s break down these answers. Women are basically saying they want to flaunt their physical attractivity and sexuality. Their animal brains know subconsciously that a man is looking for a young, beautiful, and fertile woman. She accents her youth by wearing making up to give the appearance of soft smooth skin and by wearing heels to make her calves look more vibrant. The revealing dresses send sexual signals. They know what men want. They know looks matter a lot to men.

Men are basically saying they want to flaunt their resources. They want to show that they are a better provider and protector than the possible other option. It’s that simple. Men know resources mean more than looks to women. I know that’s a lot of information, but take what you can and just understand that attraction is not a choice and we do many things subconsciously to fulfill certain genetic goals. Even though we as a species have been here for thousands of years, we still have not evolved much.

Anyways, in the later articles, we’ll talk more about how to employ all this knowledge in your dating life and relationships. Just keep all this stuff in mind for now…

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